Update

I haven't posted in a while, but here it goes. I've been in a routine mode the last couple of months and haven't really done much. My sisters are coming home in a few days, which will be exciting and something new to experience. I guess i need to start figuring out a plan for next year and my life. I don't know what that entails but i need to start somewhere, I suppose.

Learning a new language

I figure learning another language could be a good way to spend time these days for me. Thinking maybe continuing the little of what i know of italian

Shyness

As long as i can remember i have always been shy or i should say uncomfortable with people maybe large groups of people. I remember going to a basketball camp and being really afraid of doing it or something new.

Autism

I saw this parker spitzer piece on autism recently and in the program they revealed the stat that about one in every one hundred and ten kids are diagnosed with autism. There was a man who founded some group about vacination warning on autism and a father of an autistic child. The problem in this situation is that autism and every other disease is not an isolated "thing." Things are always changing and to diagnose someone with autism or any disease is to identify them with the disease. Identity as we know comes from the latin idendum or to make the same. People want an indenity and want to make themselves the same with something. The more identities the better. But true zen is no zen as we know. How can i serve a situation even with these believes, maybe putting them aside for helping people. I have believes and am analytical but am willing to throw all of it away for happiness and to serve.

Lakers Game

I guess i am worried about going to the lakers game with all of the people there. I am losing awareness and am dominated by ego consciousness. I am not functional right now and am almost becoming detached from reality. I am trying to open my mind up more and get honest with myself about my life. I am playing xbox and stretching which feel good.

Time to Start

I guess its time for me to start to get better. I was sent away from my family. I think the process is going to be painful but its my way to freedom. I want to be a free being. i want to be karma free. clear my subconscious of all my memories. be able to live in the present moment. be abundant, successfull, healthy, and realize my full potential on this planet. i am grateful for my parents, my sisters, my family and everyone else is who has been suportive.

i am getting tired but ready to change.

My Parents

wtf am i supposed to do? my parents are very irresponsible. but they are not alone. so they seperate themselves from me and then try to get me help. how about not seperating yourself from me and the first place and lifting me up to health.